Light and Shadow

I spent the day out with my mother. I see her three days ever weeks. I don’t write about her. She has Alzheimer’s disease. I find it painful to think and talk much about her condition.

Writing is important, whether anyone reads it, whether anyone understands it. It is useful creatively and psychologically. It is useful to share ideas honestly, openly, and engage in dialogue about how we change ourselves, our relationships and our world.

But there is much that is too personal to share and that should not be shared because the writer’s life is not just the writer’s story but also the story of those in the writer’s life.

Also, not all of our perceptions, feelings, opinions and choices can be safely shared. There is the danger of being misunderstood or of giving offence. Sometimes it is the shadow that has to be hidden, sometimes it is the light. It’s always good to examine our own light and shadow but not always good or safe to expose them.

I feel physically exhausted at the end of this week. I’ve run a little and gardened a fair amount, I’ve done Tai Chi and Wing Tsun intensively. I’ve taught and I’ve planned a little. I’ve driven a lot.. I’ve seen that Cider and Doritos in the evenings is not the best adjunct to physical training. Nevertheless it has been a good week.

Yoga Gardening

I’m not a keen gardener and the back garden if it could be called such has been neglected for a long long time. But it was a beautiful day and I spent a few hours weeding and cutting in the spirit of karma yoga, that is to say, not worrying about the outcome or how much I could do just doing and appreciating doing it. It made some difference but provides an ongoing opportunity for karma yoga practice.



In the evening I went to my regular Wing Tsun class.

Still not addressing my bad eating habits.

Tai Chi

I did a very short japa meditation this morning. During the day I had a meeting at the Friends Cafe, on Barking Road about a project that we plan to run. After this I went into the Newham Bookshop next to the cafe and bought three books that looked both interesting and useful. At home I did a bit of preparation for the Creative Writing after school club before going to meet the group at their school. Three hours of fairly intensive Tai Chi/Qigong at Stratford Circus and then back home stopping to buy a bottle of pear cider and Doritos because I needed or just wanted the indulgence. Not a bad day.


Looking at my watch early this morning the analogue hands says, correctly, 5:30 but the digital readout says 9:45. The date has changed to Sunday 1st January and an alarm that is normally set for 9 pm reads 1:00 am. Odd. Maybe I should take it as an omen of some sort and reset my new year resolutions.

Leaving the house at a little before 6:00am. I go on my first run for summer and my fourth or fifth this year. I covered the 1.15 mile distance, running and walking, in a little over 14 minutes with a mile pace of 12:26. Despite my regular Tai Chi and Wing Chun and irregular Yoga I am overweight and out of condition. Only running makes me sweat so profusely and I must add it to my routine.

I am too tired to do very much and do little besides sitting in front of the computer.