I see thine eyes gazing at the dark of my heart,
Lord of my life,
I wonder if my failure and wrongs are forgiven.
For many were my days without service
and nights of forgetfulness; futile were the flowers
that faded in the shade not offered to thee.

Often the tied strings of my lute slackened
at the strains of thy tunes.
And often at the ruin of wasted hours
my desolate evenings were filled with tears.

But have my days come to their end at last,
Lord of my life, while my arms round thee
grow limp, my kisses losing their truth?
Then break up the meeting of this languid day!*
Renew the old in me in fresh forms of delight;
and let the wedding come once again in
a new ceremony of life.

~Rabindranath Tagore

At the beginning of a new year we hope for renewal. About a week ago I wrote in a Facebook post:

I didn’t want to make my resolutions all at once at the beginning of the new year. Hitting myself with a long list hasn’t worked well in the past so this year I will add one new (behaviour change) resolution each week until Lent at the beginning of March. My first resolution, to run at least three times a week, has survived its first week. My second resolution, is to get away from computers, TV, smartphones, tablets, the Internet and even radio for the 12 hours between 21:00 and 09:00.

My first resolution has now survived the first two weeks but the second lasted two days. I am not dropping it however; I am persistent if not consistent and this will continue as a rule even if it is not always and entirely observed. All Sabbaths are made for us and not we for the Sabbaths and the breaking of a Sabbath does not mean that it is not useful to us or that we shall not return to observance of it.

My third resolution, prompted by my return to a very unhealthy looking belly and being overweight by almost three stones, is to change my eating habits in order to lose weight and become healthier. At minimum this means giving up confectioneries and sweet drinks including juices with the exception of an occasional morning orange juice. I will also give up alcohol with the exception of an occasional glass of wine and give up milk products with the possible exception of plain yoghurt and cottage cheese.

I am currently reading a diet and exercise book called ’10 Pounds in 10 Days’ written by ‘celebrity trainer’, Jackie Warner. The book is good enough for me to have read beyond the first chapter and to have started following some of its advice. I have reintroduced chicken breast (free-range) to my diet and cooked this with broccoli, carrots, spinach and new potatoes as my main meal yesterday. I also bought a pair of 6 kg dumbbells and did over an hour of exercises from Warner’s book with these. This morning, after my shower and before breakfast, I weighed 12 stone 10 lb. I will, mostly, follow Warner’s programme over the next 10 days but as I won’t be following it exactly (I never follow anything exactly) I won’t be able blame her if I don’t drop 10 pounds in that time.

Still Running


The map of my route looks quite impressive, even though I have run a lot further in the past. I missed tai-chi last night. It’s pre-paid so I almost never skip class but I didn’t feel good. This morning I woke a little after 5:00 and was tempted to put off running for another day but I resisted and also resisted the temptation to do the shorter run. The 2.76 miles felt more difficult than on my previous run, six days ago, but I completed the distance in a slightly shorter time, improving my mile-pace by 11 seconds.

Running opposes the lethargy and depression that I feel. A good run resets my week and motivation to some extent but I need to keep this going.

Autumn Running


This is an image from my running log. Whatever else I do, whatever else is going on in my life I must resolve to run and I must resolve to meditate. Some combination of running, yoga asanas, pranayama, tai-chi/qigong and meditation would seem good.

I completed this morning’s run in a little under 36 minutes, which is significantly slower than my best time of 30 minutes about a year ago. While running I mentally repeating the Ho’oponopono mantra: “I’m sorry, please forgive me, I love you and I thank you”.

My meditation was ‘japa’ meditation on my personal mantra using a mala. I followed this up with zhan zhuang or standing stake.